20 or more years ago I had a short but lasting glimpse of my ideal future: I was living in a house at the edge of a forest, viewing vast and wild vegetation, a bit remote, the ideal place to dedicate myself to what I love most: writing.
Between that moment and now lies a life that was everything but calm and remote: moving from Vienna to Milan to Monte Carlo and back, first working at a 7/24 – rhythm, then balancing work and motherhood, then work, motherhood and married life, constantly following new projects, hardly any moment for writing, on the move, always. And then… suddenly, I am were I wanted to be. In a house at the edge of a forest, viewing vast and wild vegetation, a bit remote, the ideal place to dedicate myself to what I love most: writing. The vision of more than 20 years back is reality since three years already. But only TODAY I have REALIZED it being reality.
Today I have become aware of the fact that – once again – a vision of what I once believed ideal for me has manifested itself. Without determined planning, but with clear consciousness for what was right and important for me in each and every moment. That kind of consciousness has brought me where I am today, effortlessly. And only today I have become aware that a lot of behaviors that were right and necessary for me in earlier stages of my life are not useful anymore now. That I may finally live parts of myself, that I have postponed until now. That I am where I wanted to be in order to live ALL of me, fully.
What strikes me is that I, who I believed to live her life in full consciousness, had to learn to give up the habit of living a full-speed-life in order to realize that I had actually arrived where I wanted to be! Me, too, I had been absorbed by the “normal” way of thinking prevailing in a High-Performance-Society with its “always more, always quicker, always better” – mantras. To consciously step out of that quickly turning wheel, to stem myself against that “You can do more!”-pressure, against those “get out of your comfort-zone”-calls, is definitely a process of re-learning.
What I want to say is that very often we find ourselves in the ideal situation without even noticing it, because we are so caught up in our patterns of looking at the world that our perception is led into a wrong direction. Nobody is immune to that. The only thing that helps us to realize that we might be caught in habits is to pause and become aware of the moment and of us in that moment.
Acknowledging that achieving our personal goals does not need to be hard and painful – that on the contrary it is the most natural and easiest thing to do when we follow our inner voice, is a conscious act of personal courage. I like to think of the quote in Paolo Coelhos book “The Pilgrimage”: “We always arrive where we have already been expected.”
That phrase takes all pressure from us: where we are in that very moment is exactly where we should be on our journey of personal evolution. The only thing we can do in order to progress constantly and smoothly in our own direction is remaining open for the moment and for what needs to be done – here and now – and let life unfold itself to carry us where we belong.
This post is also available in: German